Saturday, 15 October 2011

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS by John Gray

I picked this book up pretty much at random from my parents' bookcase one night when I had run out of reading matter and needed something to take to bed.

I only managed about the first thirty pages, but they were irritating. Gray makes some coherent arguments about what he imagines the differences between men and women to be, which some people might find useful to think about. For example, he encourages women not to feel rejected if a man feels like sitting quietly with the paper.

Gray says that men feel it is important to be successful providers, and thus may feel upset if they receive 'unsolicited advice' from women. He also says that when women wish to share their feelings, they do not want men to 'offer solutions.' I see. So when I say what I think someone should do, that is unsolicited advice, but when a boy tells me what to do, that is offering a solution.

Thank god it was already bedtime.

7 comments:

  1. Wondering what the whole book is about. lol:)

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  2. Nice review, Sarah :) I loved the last-but-one line of your review - "when I say what I think someone should do, that is unsolicited advice, but when a boy tells me what to do, that is offering a solution." :)

    I remember reading the first few pages of this book, long time back. I remember also gifting it to a couple of friends! I should be more careful about what I gift!

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  3. It is probably a great gift! It is a huge bestseller, so probably lots of people love it. I am feeling a bit guilty about being so mean about it . .

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  4. This could probably also have been called "Men are from Mars, Women buy books like this." I don't think you were unnecessarily mean, one can't (or at least shouldn't) take pop-psychology too seriously.

    On the last bit though, my understanding of the "offering solutions" thing was to encourage men to offer commiseration before jumping straight into how to fix a situation. Though predictably, I haven't read this myself.

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  5. The problem with blogging is that one often feels this powerful urge to sweeten what you actually think, because I have been amazed at how angry people get in the comments!

    I agree about the last bit, though I still think it's somewhat sketchy that what I am sure women think are solutions he calls 'advice' . .

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  6. Nana Yaa Asantewaa20 October 2011 15:41

    i have equally read the book's summary and it fascinates me alot. i don't really know how he came by these findings however, its contents, if conpared to your everyday life and really reflected on, contains element of truth. hei guys, the book is really not aggressive as it seems. moreover, it is HIS research not yours so chill!

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  7. Yes it is an interesting subject - if anyone could figure out how men and women relate they would make a mint and probably get a statue made of them! I don't know though that this guy did any real 'research'- I think it's just his ideas . . .

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